You've made a fool of everyone,
Oh well, it seems like such fun,
Until you lose what you had won."
-Jet
Once again this verse struck a chord last night when I was watching the video on VH1 at around 3:00 AM. The song/video are very ominous and dark, and they emanate a hopelessness that reminds me of the way I've felt before after a monster losing session (for the sake of my parents I won't include a dollar amount, and I doubt if their imagination could overshoot it). When I'm playing poker and winning everything seems like such fun, money is no object, and I live decadently. In fact, in the past year the only time I've ever really thought about money is when I literally had nothing left. The month of January was very thin, but thankfully I was able to accomodate well and abide until better days. Nonetheless, the lyrics to the Jet song resound in my mind. It's all fun and games until you lose what you have won. Most recreational poker players won't be able to fully understand what I am talking about because a win or a loss probably does not affect their daily lives. When I sit for a few hours and win $1,500 in one night you better believe that's going to affect my daily life.
Like the amorphous grinning creature in the Jet video, I feel that playing poker has a very dark side to it. Many of the legendary professional poker players of yesteryear were really just professional degenerates who died broke or in debt (Stuey and Nick the Greek as examples). Addiction to the action can exhibit the same symptoms as heroin, and I can honestly say that I have experienced that sense of losing control more times than I can count on both hands. Unless an individual seeking to make a living at cards is extremely strong the potential for utter destruction is palpable. Every time I have a few winning sessions I can convince myself that I have what it takes to overcome the gamble and make it happen. Maybe "Look What You've Done" contains the right warning to keep that rationalization complex under control.
